Top 5 Fun Sex Ideas

If you’re like me, and I think you are, seeing as we both share an affinity for the internet, you’re probably bored with all the constant sex you’re having. Even when it’s with another person. It’s always the same – the missionary, the dog style, that thing where you put the Saran Wrap over your face. You find yourself thinking, “There’s got to be more than this, some new ideas to spice things up.” There are, but it’s not all good…


#5. Filming It

Let’s film ourselves fucking. We’ll do it on the futon, in your efficiency unit. You have fluorescent reading lights next to your bed, right? I want to make sure we get all my backne, and those hairy moles on your thigh.






#4. Mutual Masturbation

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I’m naked, you’re naked, and we both want to get off. Here’s a thought… Why don’t we do exactly what we would if neither one of us could get laid? In front of each other.






#3. The “Facial”

I’m plowing away on your pelvis, giving you the old “white man’s jackhammer.” You’re numb, analyzing the stucco on the ceiling and waiting for me to finish. What do you say I pull out just when I’m ready, straddle you and jerk off on your face? “It’s really sexy… Lots of women love it.”






#2. Sixty-nine

I want head, you want head. How do we decide who gives and receives first? Screw it. Let’s do both at once. I give you a blow job while sniffing your testicles and you’ll go down on me with my nose up your ass. What could be better than a sex act joked about relentlessly by fifth graders since the seventies?






#1. Screwing Outdoors

Everybody who hasn’t seen video of themselves doing it wants to have sex in a public place. It’s fun to think you might get busted in the act. Fantasize that some impossibly hot chick/dude out for a late night jog might stumble on the two of you going at it on the park bench and get so turned on she/he starts working herself/himself over like Kim Basinger in 9 and 1/2 Weeks. Or join in.
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